So, Tell Me If I am Arrogant

It's been years since the day my dad was gone. But I feel exactly like that day, the day that I realized that he was no more here to protect me. Yeah, I miss him and I need him now even more. I need him to protect me from people whom I told are my family, even the closest to a father I have now.

He's (my immature, selfish uncle) upset because:

1. I never spent a night in his home every time I was back in Maros. He said I should go to his house the very next day I arrive home, instead of going there to say goodbye a day before I leave Maros for Bandung. Yah, I did not come to his house just like the way he wants me to. You know why? Because the first time I was back to Maros, I was in Soppeng, Inna's home, and I heard the news that he went to MY HOUSE and got angry to my mom, insulted her that she was not capable to raise a child, bla... bla... bla.... He was not even stop when my mom said, "Remember you brother, which was my father, he must be watching you right now, being so angry and rude to me."


My mom just asked me to be patient. We cannot have a hate or a revenge in our heart, it's Allah's business to lead people back to the right path when it's out of our control. Because at that time, I asked my mom not to even once come again to his house no matter what. Okay, at that time, I was chill. But it made me feel like a trauma. How could he invite me to his house and I can feel save, while he could be that rude to my mom. It was just not save enough for me to spent a night there alone, I asked my brother, he wouldn't, so, I didn't spend any night in his home, but I did spend a night in my other uncle's and aunt's home.

2. He was upset because I didn't answer any of his call several months ago. You know why? Because in my life, not even once, MY FATHER or MY MOTHER saw my work in such a low appreciation. But he did. After spending time, when my thesis was also getting closer to deadline, working on his proposal, he called me when he received:
"What is this did you send me?" I believe it was a lot more rude when you heard him speaking Maros accent.
It was his voice showed that it was like a garbage what I sent him. I was so upset. I said to my mom, he's successfully lost my respect. My mom said: "Istigfar, my dear. He is like a father to you now."

Okay, I'd said yes to my mom, and I had to let it go. But I couldn't fix the proposal after he insulted me like that and that's why I didn't answer any of his calls. I know he couldn't speak nice to me, and I don't want my heart to be hurt again because of him, so I didn't answer. He sent me a text once and said, if I couldn't finish it, i'd better tell him. But I rejected both finishing it and telling him. Am I wrong? I don't think so.

A month later, when he heard that I've got a job, he, with very inconvenience tone of voice made sure that I've got a job, and how much money I made. Not even a single prayer he told me in the phone or even just being happy for me. No? Wonder why? I decided to ignore it. He also asked me when will I graduate. I told him, the end of next moth, 28th.

3. He called me, and insulted my mom through the phone--I'm sure I've told you the detail in the previous story.

This morning, he sent me a text saying:
"Herul (my brother), I beat him with a wooden stick until it was all broken in his body, but he was not upset. Now, I was just angry to you, you are so upset to me. I tell you what, you are now success, that's why you become arrogant."

I couldn't help but wonder, tho, why he seems so worry if I am success.

Hi, people all over the world. Tell me if I am arrogant because I don't like he sees my work like a garbage, instead of just telling me which part was wrong, he, with his oppressive tone of voice said that what i made for him was nothing.

People, tell me if I am arrogant because I don't want people insulting my mom. The person that my mom said like a father for me, insulted her through me. Now, I miss my dad so bad, because I would've told him and ask him to protect me and my mother from a person like him.

Tell me if I am arrogant because I sent him texts telling him how much I miss my dad and he would not doing such thing to me. My dad would not be so upset when I'm success. I told him that I am nothing like my brother, I am more sensitive because that's how he raised me. You know, my parents beat my little brother and little sister if they made huge mistakes. But not once they touch me, because they now, even words can hurt me more, and I never made such a huge mistakes that could make them angry. He wanted to be like a father for me, but he insulted me and my mom, like yeah, now nobody can protect me, I don't have a father, and he could do whatever they want. I tell you something, I never talked back when my parents got angry to me, whatever they said, even if it was wrong. Now, why I talked back? Because my father was gone, now I PROTECT MY MOM.

But I must not keep this hate till the end of my life, I just want him to ask apology to me and my mom, I will to, because I am just a human being, making mistakes. Or even he won't, I'll try to let it go, let the hurt feeling leave my heart so I can live happily. If I and my mother (but my mother had taken so much insults from him and he apologized every single bit of it) can apologize him, I will, but if no, I have Allah to ask for a justice in the day after.

Now, the last text he sent me:
"Stop sending me text, I am just getting more angry."

So, people, tell me that I am arrogant.