I Hope Allah Give Me Strength to Stand My Immature, Selfish Uncle

People say: keep your friend close and your enemy closer. Yeah, they exactly have a logical explanation for that. Because it will be a lot easier to crush you from inside your very own castle, because they will know your weaknesses and the most important thing is, you will be less aware about their movement against you.

Guys, I can say, this year in my 21 years old, Allah is giving me harder tests. But this one I can say the hardest one. Ready to read it? Because I think I do need someone to share with.


This morning, I answered a call from unsaved number. I didn't know that it was my uncle's. I think he called me once with that number last month with unfriendly voice of him, so I decided not to save it. When I answered the phone, it was just noise, so he hang it up. Then he called again, here came the disaster, the biggest of the year--I hope no more thing like this.

"When will you graduate?" said someone one the phone.
"28th, it's the end of this month." I was pretty sure that I have told him last moth when he called me.
"Your mom is such an arrogant." And it was a lot more rude, when you say a word arrogant in Buginesse.
"She didn't tell me that she will go to Bandung with all your siblings to your graduation. I just knew it from Puang Intang and Rasuddin. You know, Intang the vegetable woman. Her prayer everyday is nothing. It was just prayer but nothing."

Okay, how on the earth can someone, a common human being--not even a prophet--can see if someone's prayer is nothing, it was just a routine. You cannot see their heart, you cannot interfere one's relationship with God. C' mon, stop playing God, old man.

I am sure he thought that I will be silent, I wouldn't say a word, but he was wrong.

"Don't say like that," I said.
"She is like that. Even You too. You didn't pick up my calls." Guys, several months ago, I didn't answer his call, not even once, after he insulted me. I was so busy dealing with deadline of my thesis, but I took some break to make him a proposal. He wanted to apply for something I guessed. But instead of telling me which part was wrong from the proposal I sent him, he called me and got angry to me. He said, "what is this did you send me? It is not a proposal, there is no explanation about what I want. Aunt Wahida even said that it is wrong." WHAT?? I cant stand his temper, and I know from his voice, and his first sentence. It seems like what I sent was garbage, nothing. He can just tell me what was wrong and I can fix it less than an hour, but the way he told me, it was insulting. So, I decided to ignore him.

Okay, when he said I was arrogant because I didn't want to answer any of his calls several moths ago, I said,
"Yah, because I didn't like if you treat me like that. You should just tell me what's wrong and I'd fix it. But no...." Before finishing my line, he said,
"No, it is just when you get succeed, you guys, become arrogant." He hang up.

He was such a coward. He afraid of being told that he was wrong, or he was afraid that I now talk back when he insulted me, or he was simply a coward.

Guys, I was so sad. I can't stand people talk bad about my mom. I haven't told you about how he insulted my mom in front of many people, how he said to my mom that she couldn't raise a kid well (I wasn't there that time), many more. But my mom, when I told him about how he insulted me because of the proposal, how he's lost my respect, she was just ask me to istigfar. She said that now dad's gone, and he's a dad for you. C'mon, if dad were still alive, I would ask him to protect me from people who would hurt me, and  MY UNCLE is one of them.

I don't remember when was the last time I was so sad and cried a lot because my dad left me. But for sure, I felt that at the day he was gone. And now, I almost feel the same way. I miss my dad so bad. My dad would have been here to protect me, if he were still alive. But, I don't regret it, because I know I have to earn the strength by my own. And from there, my dad is looking at his little daughter, the one that he said just like chips--easy to break--is now a tough woman..

I don't want to hate my uncle, because I don't wanna leave this world with hate in my heart. But I have to give him some lesson. He cannot treat me or my mom like that. Now, he is the oldest one in the family, my dad's gone, so were my grandparents. But he cannot use his authority to do whatever they want. He might be older than me, but his temper, his ego, make him immature. It is so immature. Terrorizing me like this is so unman-like.

God, I hope You can give me a strength to be around my family.